Collecting, Using, or Both?

A dear friend of mine, who shares my interest in music, shared this interesting article from the BBC. It’s about a fellow named Guy McKenzie who collects guitars and bought a collection of rare, British made guitars that had been stored in a basement for ages. First of all, the article confuses me. Is the fellow who said this, the current owner of the guitars, or the collector who had them in the basement: “I don’t actually play,” he said “but I just love them in the same way that people collect old paintings even though they can’t paint.”
I guessed the first, and after further research, found that I am right. The analogy doesn’t make sense. Isn’t it more akin to a non-artist collecting paintbrushes, rather than the paintings? Paintings weren’t made to do anything, other than be viewed. Guitars are an instrument by which one creates music.  A second friend said ” Wow! Who buys all those and doesn’t play them? I hope the new guy gets them into the hands of guitarists. Good looking instruments too.” Yes, they do look good, but it doesn’t sound like those guitars are going to be played.  The friend who originally posted the article responded, ” Same kind of person who buys a library of books that are never read? I hope they are played, too, otherwise what a waste of such fine instruments.” Even Jimmy Page, who once reportedly had a collection of over 1200 guitars, reduced his collection, reportedly because who can play that many guitars? And the dude can play guitar!

Doesn’t a person who buys a library full of books want to present an image of a)being smart enough to have read all these books, or b)having high enough status to have a ‘library’ in one’s mansion. He’s blown the first notion by fessing up that he doesn’t play guitar, so maybe he has a ‘music’ room in his mansion and is decorating it. Now that makes sense. But after rifling through Mr. McKenzies website have decided the real reason is closer to ‘c’. This fellow has a f*ing serious guitar collection. More of a museum really. That is pretty high status.

My other obsession  is books. Recently the Valmadonna Trust Library was offered for sale at Sotheby’s in New York.  It is private collection of Hebrew books, collected by Jack Lunzer, who is getting old and wants the collection to go into the right hands so they “they are well kept and respected.” The reserve is $40 million, so I unless Bill Gates wants it, or Oprah, it will be bought by a museum. In which case anyone who goes to the museum can view the books as works of art. They will never be read, as many of them would crumble if they were handled by a ham-fisted reader such as myself.

But one of Mr. McKenzies guitars is not going to fall apart if I play Mary Had A Little Lamb on it. Just ask Pete Townshend. In fact, if you get a bit rough with one, it’ll damage you, Krist Novoselic will testify to that. I’m different than him, if I owned a library full of books, I would be reading them. If I owned a music room full of instruments I would take lessons so I could at least play Mary Has A Little Lamb on most of them (maybe he can).

Which brings me to my ukelele banjo. Belonged to my great-grandmother who played it and the violin (I have that too, but it’s not in playable condition) and piano (which I don’t have). I’ve dug the uke out of the garage and have managed to tune it, and learn a note (C) and a chord (G7). Now I need to put my pith helmet on and hunt out Mary Had A Little Lamb. Also need more bookshelves so the piles of books that litter every flat surface in my home (and yes I’ve read most of them, and fully intend to read all of them) can have their own special place.

Anyways (heh), nice collection Guy!

Apology to Jonathan Carroll

Apologies to Jonathan Carroll: I am a terrible ambassador for your books.

Have been telling my friends about a novel I just finished that I loved. It’s called Bones of the Moon by Jonathan Carroll. For some reason, I have not effectively communicated the wonderfulness of this book. One friend, who reads Vampire Slut Novels, told me (very snootily) that if he wasn’t reading VSN, he only read very good science fiction novels. The women in my book club (ok, wine and gourmet dinner club) said oh, sounds interesting, and then chose to read some other book, that I had dismissed ages ago as crap. Then I have a conversation with my trusty sidekick (ala Ren and Stimpy) via Yahoo Messenger™ and tell her all about it:

(I, Oceangal, am ‘O’, my friend is ‘H’, for Honey )
O: Have just finished a book I liked very much called Bones of the Moon by Jonathan Carroll.
H: The moon has bones?
O: In Rondua they do
H: Is that an island?
O: Better
It’s a dream world
H: Ah.
a bony dream world?
O: No- A wonderful dream world in which whoever possessessesess the five bones of the moon will rule Rondua
A kid named Pepsi is Rondua’s next ruler
H: So a handsome lad and ?? sets out to collect plot coupons?
And meet tribulation on the way?
?? = plucky dog?
Pet hen?
O: Lad is 5 years old and is accompanied by his mum
H: Magic hairpiece?
Oh, magic mum.
O: a giant dog wearing a bowler hat is one companion. His name is Mr. Tracy
H: Did you make that Up?
hang on…
O: Nope Jonathan Carroll did.
N: Okay, so plucky woman accompanied by magic boy and bowler hatted dog set off to gather five plot coupons.
It sounds very nice, but not my sort of thing.
(I’m back)
O: Only she’s not very plucky, and she’s dreaming about a world that when she was a child, she almost ruled, but didn’t because she wasn’t brave enough.
It’s got a great villain….
H: Darth Maul?
O: Jack Chili
H: The opposite of Jack Frost?
O: Mean as hell, I tell you.
H: I like good villains.
O: The dream world spills over into her real life of being a New York housewife with an infant daughter. Frightening things happen
H: That’s too scary.
O: There is a very terrifying bit that I couldn’t read fully, and the end made me cry.
I love a good ending
H: The dog lost his bowler?
O: Yes amongst other things
H: Did it have a razor’s edge like Steed’s, so he could throw it and disembowel or disemhead the baddie?
Or was that James Bond?
O: That was from a James Bond flick, bowler belonged to one of the baddies
H: It’s a good trick though.
O: Been done though.

The conversation then disintegrated into discussions on hats as weapons and implements of giants. It was fascinating to us, but only us, I won’t bore you with it. She probably won’t read it off my recommendation, but she would like it. I’m sure of it.

Sorry Mr. Carroll, I loved Bones of the Moon. Your playfulness with words, your imagery, made me laugh and sigh. The absurdity and tension and warm fuzzies you created thrilled me. But evidently I suck at telling people what made this book great so I’ll stop talking about it.